Unsent letter to 'My Parents': Day 3

Dear Mom & Dad,

                                    I have many things unsaid to both of you people. I’m sorry for that. I really didn’t share anything completely with you… That’s cuz I just feel you are fraught with your work and .. my problems will only make you more fraught. I know you tell that ‘we wont feel burden’ if I share my problems, that’s coz of your kindness. I understand you. I never gave a chance to show your true love on me. I ignore those situations. Don’t ask me ‘why’. I really don’t have a good answer. May be, I don’t want to go sentimental with your love.. or may be, I hate ‘too much of love’. You know, I’m a reserved-type girl, even with you(sometimes). But, here in this letter I’m sharing with you… all that I can.

                                    Mom, do you remember the day you restricted me from playing ‘Holi’? I felt very sad about that. All… ‘my aged’ children were enjoying that day. But, you locked me in a room saying that those colors are harmful to play holi. I formed hatred towards you coz of that. That enjoyment really mattered me when I’m 7 years old!(even if it caused harm to my skin due to those colors). I yelled inside my heart infinite times --> “I hate you MOM!”.. You still don’t understand that I love only ‘small things’ which make me happy for ‘long time’. I have many incidents in my life which you made me miss them without enjoying! But, that’s ok… you have your own reasons to protect your daughter from the affects caused by them. I still feel your love which is hidden behind those restrictions. Thanks for being my side and reminding me that ‘I’m never lonely’. Love you mom(*Tears*)for everything you did to me. For the tastiest dishes which you prepare for my lunch early in the morning 5am. I’m damn sure that one day I’ll make you proud of me :). I feel that you never know my ‘Love’ towards ‘you’ … but you know what, I’m not able to show my ‘TRUE LOVE’ towards you… Donno what stops me from showing!? But, I’m doing it in many indirect ways, I’m studying hard, behaving well, keeping away bad-friendship, I have my own future plans to make you happier than now :). I promise you!(I said this one to you many times, and I see your happiness in your tears… I feel it! Love you again). I also remember the days you support me when my marks go down and when dad scolds me. I love you. You were an example to me for patience,love,sacrifice,caring,humble,helping,hard-work,optimistic and daring. Thanks for teaching me lessons through your experiences. I love you more than myself(Truly, I never said this to anyone!). Hope, I’ll reach your expectations in my future. Thanks for loving and taking care of me from 16 years! I owe that I’ll make you happy :)

P.S:- Thanks for the ice-creams you are buying for me everyday now-a-days, that made me happy… That’s a real sweet thing you are doing to me :).

                                   

                                    Now, Dad, You know what? I really miss you these days… *Tears* I’m missing you jokes, your smile, your care! *Tears again(continued for 3 mins)*. Love you soo… much! I know that I never respected you by being annoyed at some silly things. I cannot end that guilty feeling by just saying a ‘Sorry’ to you! But I must, I’M SORRY DAD!!!!!

                                    I think, I never ever talked to you more than 2 hours! Why does the hell it happens only for us? Is that I’m a grown-up girl now and don’t want to share everything to you? I really feel jealous when my friends are close to there father’s. Why does that not happen to us, the closeness? Why I can’t show my love towards you? Why I understand your love even if you fail to show me openly? The LOVE-BOND between us is invisible to everyone on this earth… and only YOU AND ME knows about how strong it is! I cry for you dad… for not respecting you… for not showing you all-love! I didn’t learn a way to show them correctly!(sad). But, I do respect you by studying hard, by doing math, by being a good girl in my school days. Do you remember how principal sir and English madam talks good about me? At least they said! Thanks to them. I’m sorry for being real rude to you in my 8^th class, as I was undergoing a phase of teen-‘age’ in which I ruined myself. But, I was back to my normal life after knowing it was not good to do so. Thanks for understanding me. I love you dad! Sorry for pasting “I HATE YOU DAD” poster in my room. I know, you saw that and felt sad about it. I, many times yelled ‘I hate you’ to you! I know, how it made you depress. But, I still love you with all my heart. I’m so dumb in showing love to you both people.

                                    And… dad, why do you spy on me sometimes? I’m not going to ruin myself again! Because I know what I’m up-to now. I know my limits. I know how to use my freedom. I know what is good and not so good things. After all, I’m your daughter. I promise you that I’ll be a good daughter forever :).

                                    You are always ‘My hero’ :). You are ‘my book to teach philosophy through experience’. Love you Forever.

                                    Finally, I conclude here. I owe many things to you. Hope, you read this letter one day, as I’m writing this in my diary. Love you both, muaah!

*Wiping away my tears*

~Vidya

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge