Unsent letter to 'My Parents': Day 3

Dear Mom & Dad,

                                    I have many things unsaid to both of you people. I’m sorry for that. I really didn’t share anything completely with you… That’s cuz I just feel you are fraught with your work and .. my problems will only make you more fraught. I know you tell that ‘we wont feel burden’ if I share my problems, that’s coz of your kindness. I understand you. I never gave a chance to show your true love on me. I ignore those situations. Don’t ask me ‘why’. I really don’t have a good answer. May be, I don’t want to go sentimental with your love.. or may be, I hate ‘too much of love’. You know, I’m a reserved-type girl, even with you(sometimes). But, here in this letter I’m sharing with you… all that I can.

                                    Mom, do you remember the day you restricted me from playing ‘Holi’? I felt very sad about that. All… ‘my aged’ children were enjoying that day. But, you locked me in a room saying that those colors are harmful to play holi. I formed hatred towards you coz of that. That enjoyment really mattered me when I’m 7 years old!(even if it caused harm to my skin due to those colors). I yelled inside my heart infinite times --> “I hate you MOM!”.. You still don’t understand that I love only ‘small things’ which make me happy for ‘long time’. I have many incidents in my life which you made me miss them without enjoying! But, that’s ok… you have your own reasons to protect your daughter from the affects caused by them. I still feel your love which is hidden behind those restrictions. Thanks for being my side and reminding me that ‘I’m never lonely’. Love you mom(*Tears*)for everything you did to me. For the tastiest dishes which you prepare for my lunch early in the morning 5am. I’m damn sure that one day I’ll make you proud of me :). I feel that you never know my ‘Love’ towards ‘you’ … but you know what, I’m not able to show my ‘TRUE LOVE’ towards you… Donno what stops me from showing!? But, I’m doing it in many indirect ways, I’m studying hard, behaving well, keeping away bad-friendship, I have my own future plans to make you happier than now :). I promise you!(I said this one to you many times, and I see your happiness in your tears… I feel it! Love you again). I also remember the days you support me when my marks go down and when dad scolds me. I love you. You were an example to me for patience,love,sacrifice,caring,humble,helping,hard-work,optimistic and daring. Thanks for teaching me lessons through your experiences. I love you more than myself(Truly, I never said this to anyone!). Hope, I’ll reach your expectations in my future. Thanks for loving and taking care of me from 16 years! I owe that I’ll make you happy :)

P.S:- Thanks for the ice-creams you are buying for me everyday now-a-days, that made me happy… That’s a real sweet thing you are doing to me :).

                                   

                                    Now, Dad, You know what? I really miss you these days… *Tears* I’m missing you jokes, your smile, your care! *Tears again(continued for 3 mins)*. Love you soo… much! I know that I never respected you by being annoyed at some silly things. I cannot end that guilty feeling by just saying a ‘Sorry’ to you! But I must, I’M SORRY DAD!!!!!

                                    I think, I never ever talked to you more than 2 hours! Why does the hell it happens only for us? Is that I’m a grown-up girl now and don’t want to share everything to you? I really feel jealous when my friends are close to there father’s. Why does that not happen to us, the closeness? Why I can’t show my love towards you? Why I understand your love even if you fail to show me openly? The LOVE-BOND between us is invisible to everyone on this earth… and only YOU AND ME knows about how strong it is! I cry for you dad… for not respecting you… for not showing you all-love! I didn’t learn a way to show them correctly!(sad). But, I do respect you by studying hard, by doing math, by being a good girl in my school days. Do you remember how principal sir and English madam talks good about me? At least they said! Thanks to them. I’m sorry for being real rude to you in my 8^th class, as I was undergoing a phase of teen-‘age’ in which I ruined myself. But, I was back to my normal life after knowing it was not good to do so. Thanks for understanding me. I love you dad! Sorry for pasting “I HATE YOU DAD” poster in my room. I know, you saw that and felt sad about it. I, many times yelled ‘I hate you’ to you! I know, how it made you depress. But, I still love you with all my heart. I’m so dumb in showing love to you both people.

                                    And… dad, why do you spy on me sometimes? I’m not going to ruin myself again! Because I know what I’m up-to now. I know my limits. I know how to use my freedom. I know what is good and not so good things. After all, I’m your daughter. I promise you that I’ll be a good daughter forever :).

                                    You are always ‘My hero’ :). You are ‘my book to teach philosophy through experience’. Love you Forever.

                                    Finally, I conclude here. I owe many things to you. Hope, you read this letter one day, as I’m writing this in my diary. Love you both, muaah!

*Wiping away my tears*

~Vidya

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge

Unsent letter to 'My Crush': Day 2

Dear ‘My Crush’,

                                   

                                    It’s been six years since I talked to you. I often think of you and also whenever I see the word ‘crush’. Now, I’m in my 18’s, still thinking. I didn’t know that I had a crush on you when am in my 6^th grade, I didn’t even know the meaning of ‘crush’. Do you remember those bottle fights? Do you remember those pranks you played on me? Do you remember the nick name ‘Chunchu’ with which I call you always..?? But… yes I do! In my 12’s I use to think of you in the nights. No, don’t think me wrong. You are ‘just my crush’. I ‘just like you’.

                                    I still remember the day you wept when our English teacher scolded and beat you for not answering a question. Even I felt sad for you. The day when our principal caught us during a ‘big fight’ between us, was the most memorable one! Hey, I even remember that you were copying my answer in English exam sitting beside me… I pretended as if I didn’t notice your copy… that’s just to help you. See, how kind I’m to you! :P

                                    I know, even you were kind to me at times! All my drawings for biology and geography subjects are done by you! Thanks for that :). I always wanted to say, that you are a good painter and artist :). So, here I’m praising you all the way ;).

                                    You were my first guy friend with whom I had lunch and snacks together in our school days. You were the first person to tease me, in all random ways (which I loved the most!). I just hope to meet you ONCE and share a talk for straight 8 hours! I miss you badly some times! I pray to god for your happiness every year on your birthday. Yes! I remember your Birthday. Do you? And… do you really remember me? Hope so! Cuz, you were the crucial part of my childhood… Thanks to "God" for giving me such sweet memories to cherish :)

                                    Finally, you are not only my first crush but also last and the best! Miss you Rahul!

~Vidya alias Madhumathi.

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge

Unsent Letter to my 'Best Friend' : Day 1

Dear Shashi Rekha,

                                    I miss you! The first impression I had on you was “Mindless moron!” I’m sorry for that. You were over-reacting towards other classmates and so I formed that false impression on you! I never ever tried to talk with you as I felt that I don’t need any help from you! I cursed and scolded whenever I see you in the class just because of your “over-excitement” on everything. In that old school days, I never thought I would miss you so badly!

                                    One day, I had a fight with two of my bench-mates. They were bullying me. They also started talking and spreading rumors about me to others (the thing which I hate the most!). So, I needed to shift my place from 3^rd bench to 5^th bench, in which you were sitting alone that day. I still remember my despise feeling for sitting beside you. But, you were giving a smile at me whenever I saw you. Thanks for that. It really made me ‘stay cool’ after that ‘stupid fight’. From that day onwards, I tried to understand your nature, your behavior, your patience, your intelligence, your hard work and the reason behind your smile which makes sure that everything is ‘perfect’. In short, you became my best friend with whom I can be myself. Then, I never had a ‘big fight’ with you except those ‘hilarious silly fights!’ … because I understand you totally. I always feel a ‘sister-hood’ relationship between you and me. I’m now cherishing all our school days. Silly comments on teachers. Pranks on others. Confused looks. Tensed feelings during ‘exam results’. Excitement over ‘annual parties’. I really enjoyed being with you. I never told all these feelings towards you to anyone, including you! You know, I’m a shy girl! But, a smile from you makes me comfortable which says “I can understand even if you don’t show your love towards me, after all am your friend baby…”:)

                                    I’m really feeling sad as now I’m not able to contact you through my mobile. I did not get any response for my message to you from past few days. I even phoned, but no one is answering.

                                    Hope, you message me one day. Till then, keep smiling baby…I love you and I miss you.

XOXO

~Madhumathi 

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge

30-Day Challenge!

Here I am starting my first day with 30-Day Challenge for my blog.

I started to take this challenge on my personal interest, as I love Challenges!

You can view about 30-day challenge on this --> Website <--

Thanks to Mikey for giving me this inspiration to blog for a month! :)

 If you like to take up this challenge .. Visit their website and Join! :)

- Innocence -

Innocence,

Is born with a baby's smile.

Is dead when you firmly fake a smile.

~Madhumathi - Lonely Princess

P.S:- This is posted under Haiku heights: Prompt #41 - Innocence

- Idyllic Life -

Out of Solitude

Born are those thoughts

which made my life idyllic !!

P.S:- This post is filed under Haiku heights: Prompt #40 - Born

- Wasted Money -

Well, It’s been a long time since I blogged something random. So, here I am again!

Now-a-days, I’m bit (actually a lot!) lazy, un-interested, frustrated, anxious and bored!(Did I mention everything, ah no! I must have missed some more bad emotions!).

Another reason for not blogging is, “I didn’t get any topic” (I’m yelling this from many days!!!!!)

So, I got one now. Here it is --> “Wasted money” .

In general, we waste our money everyday..(at least a rupee!). Here is the question put by Ms. Radio Jockey(I listen to Radio everyday, and she gave me this idea! Actually, she was asking this question to her listeners. But, I’m blogging it! :D ).

Question: Did you ever waste your money in the worst way?

Me: Thinking… Thinking… Thinking…

“Yes, I wasted money many times, you know what? Actually, a million times! I must have wasted my money in a range of ways.” I told her, though she wont hear me because I didn’t call her. I was just talking with her from my room :D :P

I made a list of them!

1) I still remember my childhood day, I was sent to near by shop by mom to bring a milk packet for our guests. She gave me two 5 rupee coins, and the milk packet costs 7 rupees at that time. I gave him two of my 5 rupee coins before he handed me the milk packet. I took the milk packet after 2 minutes, and gave a return step to my house. But, he stopped me and asked for 2 more rupees. I told, “I gave na?”

He told, “No, you didn’t. Don’t be a liar! Give back that milk packet!” and he snatched it from my hands. Guess what? I was not crying, but angry on him for being so careless towards his customers. I wasted 5 rupees because of his carelessness. I shouldn’t have given that money before he could hand the milk-packet!

2) One day, I was shopping for jeans (I don’t spend much time shopping!) with my mom. I hurriedly selected a dress which was good for me. It was pricing 1000/-.

After going home, I tried that dress. It was OK-OK types. Then, I never wore that dress but only twice! I didn’t know what, but that dress made me un-comfortable whenever I wore that. I pushed it away to some corner in my almirah. My mom was scolding me for not wearing that and nearly yells at me for wasting “1000 Rs.” For that “Un-comfortable dress”!! I again wasted!

3) I also purchase many accessories (which girls tend to do it always!) and I end up using them for only few days! :(

4) I waste money on things which increase ‘calories’ in my body! Ahh!! :(

5) I waste money on purchasing books (related to studies) but never study them! You know, I really don’t touch them but only few times! And those books costs nearly 500/- to700/-

6) I’m very impatient at times! I don’t wait for my daily bus to come, which charges only 6 rupees to reach my college. For that, I waste 48 rupees by going in an Auto!!

Even though, I know few things charge me so much… I tend to do them! I waste more and more and more money daily…!! I really don’t want to waste my father’s salary in such silly ways! But, hope I will reduce these things slowly. Finally, one day… I’ll b the most careful person to spend money :)

So, meanwhile… did you think of how much money you waste everyday?

Just think!

- Sunset at the corner of my camera -

the sun goes down upon us
brilliant pinks highlight the sky
the type of artistic nature
that produces a wistful sigh

angel's breath kisses the horizon
with purples, pinks and mauve's
fingers lacing through the clouds
lit from the sun below

slipping away so slowly
to become someone else muse
poetic images fill my mind
nature's beauty I cannot refuse

~By Barbara

Source:  http://allpoetry.com/poem/187103

- A Rainy Day! -

My mom was feeding me in the afternoon. Brinjal curry was so tasty.. ;) and it’s the only time I get to talk with my mom. I was telling about my college lecturers and funny incidents that took place on that day! She was listening patiently and laughing at my jokes .. :P (Love You Mom!!) After few mins.. I ended my lunch with curd rice. Mom kissed on my forehead and I smiled :)

I got back to my room, closed the door and opened windows for fresh air. Started searching for a book to read, but a cool gentle wind touched me. My hair was dancing on my face. I smiled again! :). The whether was changing from hot sunny afternoon to cool and refreshing late afternoon! I loved the climate. Took my mobile and went to balcony  to enjoy the cool breeze.. I closed my eyes and was listening to the songs played on Radio.. and lost in all good thoughts! After few mins, a drop from the sky has fallen on my hand. I felt the gentle touch of nature .. and was back to my senses. I observed that it was raining!

“Vidyaaaa… It’s raining! Get the clothes from balcony..!! I have some work to do here.” Mom yelled from kitchen.

“Haan.. ok amma.. But I want a cup of tea!”

“Sure.. baby!”

“Thanks mom!” and I grinned :D

Yeah, I love to have a cup of tea in this chilling evening!

I collected all the clothes and placed them on my bed. Then, again I got my headset and listened to the songs. Mostly romantic and melody songs were played according to the wish of listeners!

Meanwhile, mom got me the cup of tea and I went back to balcony to watch and enjoy the rain. I observed many things…

Children aged less than 10 years were playing “galli” cricket. After 2 overs, even an uncle joined them and started playing. I also heard other few children were shouting a rhyme, “Rain..Rain..Go away! Come again another day!”. That made me nostalgic. Aunties who wore colored sarees were confined to their usual talks in that evening. Students of 7^th – 10^th classes were going to tuitions carrying colored umbrella’s in their hands… and I completed my tea with the last sip tasting like honey… ( Umm… I love that feeling!)

Rain drops are slowly fading away leaving behind the cool breeze…

What a beautiful evening it was! I loved every feeling! Thanks to God :)

By the way, here is the list of things which I love to do while its raining:-

1)      Want to eat pani puri catching a purple colored umbrella and also dressed in purple color “chudidhar”.

2)      Should watch a horror movie alone in my house.. closing all the windows and doors.

3)      Eat an ice-cream which is chocolate flavored.

4)      Should get drenched in the rain in white dress!

5)      Walk in the beach with my partner beside me…

That’s all for now! Rain… made my day :) Wow!

- Drawing at College -

Howz it?!

My drawing at college .. and coloring at home! ;)

Leisure time was used in this way ! ;)  

- A day ended with Burger -

While am browsing on net, yesterday in the evening at 3:30 pm.. dad was asking me whether I would like to have an eye-check up or not. As usually, I said NO! ( Arghhh… I hate going out in the evening!). My mom interrupted our conversation and forced me to say “Yes” , because she wants to go out and do shopping! Yeah, I agreed on one condition, i.e. , she should take me to a restaurant(It was almost 2 months that I didn’t visit any restaurant because of my exams). She agreed with a SIGH! We started from our house exactly at 4:15pm. All my thoughts were revolving around the restaurant … “Um.. what should I order ? Chicken burger or Black forest pastry? Chicken leg or Chicken bread roll?

And yeah, we finally reached the hospital and met the doc’. There was no change in my eye-sight. Yay!! I was happy for that. Guess what?! I have an eye-sight of 7.5 and its a myopia :D :P. That’s because of watching TV. In my childhood .. I use to maintain approximately 20 cm distance between me and TV! :O hehe !!

After that.. my mom was finally done with her shopping.. and I was waiting to go to my favorite restaurant named “Woodlands”.  I love the atmosphere there, calm and peace! I was checking the list of items…( It took almost 5-7 minutes to give an order!) umm… and then I ordered a chicken burger. Mom ordered 2 chicken leg pieces. 

 “Why two?”

“One for me and another for you!”

Oh .. my mom was extra sweet ! I yelled “Thank-You MOM!!” with a big smile :D

I don’t know how many calories I consumed that evening .. but the taste was soo.. Yummy!! It was a ‘Tasty Evening’ for me!

My day ended with a burger! I’m lovin’ it! (McDonald’s Tag line :P)

* Small things in my life make me sOo.. happy :) *

Match Fixing Tape_ India and Pak

 

P.S:- Listen to the audio!

 Comment about your reaction :) 

Psychology - My passion

It was in 8^th class, where my life took a deep turn. I’m a girl from village shifted to city in 2007. Parents joined me in a corporate school. I, being a shy girl did not mingle with the students there so easily. For me, it became a robotic life.. I was just going .. Listening to teachers and coming back to home! There was no sign of friendship all that year.. Few girls in my class use to mock at me because they know that I don’t point at them even if the mistake is not mine.. They don’t like to see my expressionless face in the very morning. How could they expect me with a fake smile? Why don’t’ they help me in smiling? Whenever I give a wrong answer to a question, whole class laughs at me and if it was a right answer.. there would be an unexpected pin-drop silence!! (No one appreciates!). I accepted.. every situation in my life. I did not blame anyone. But, all those people left an impact in my life. Knowing about their strengths, their flaws, negative and positive side.. became my favorite pass time. Scientifically, it is called as knowing about human psychology!

One day, I’m searching for one my record on my Dad’s table. I came across a certificate which stated that .. my dad did Psychology in Bachelor of Arts. It made me to think about my passion. “Psychology” , the word was buzzing in my head all that day..

Since then I started reading books based on Psychology. I started observing people and reading their minds. Now, am also learning to predict the meaning of dreams. My father helped me in suggesting books and websites about dreams and psychology. Thanks to him :)

After my 10^th class result.. I joined in a junior college. Things went wrong in my life. I took Mathematics, Physics, and Chemistry subjects as my optional. At the end of Intermediate 1^st year, I came to know that even Psychology is a subject which can be taken as optional in Intermediate. I missed that chance. Now am preparing for IIT, which is a total contrast to my passion. But, I’ve one more chance left after Intermediate 2^nd year.. I can be a psychologist by taking a degree in Arts! :)

There ends my write-up on the dream of becoming a psychologist, my passion about reading the minds of people around me! I have faith :) .

P.S:- This article is written for [[ Passion ]] at The Youth world

- The Dark side of Me -

The world says, “Don’t woe. Oh, please!”

I smile, I laugh, I tease.

I compromise with the people delimited by me

Because they are charmed with my agree.

But, deep inside my heart.. I feel incomplete

No one knows the unseen pain contained by me.

My heart sheds tears when someone mock

But, I act sportive and my feelings are given a block.

I’m happy ..

Because my dear ones want me to smile brightly :)

But, deep inside my heart.. I feel incomplete

No one knows the unseen pain contained by me.

I smile at my sad moments.

I dance in my room.

I sing at mid-nights.

I talk with the mirror.

But, deep inside my heart.. I feel incomplete

No one knows the unseen pain contained by me.

My dairy shares all my feelings which are deeper than a sea

My room’s four walls know the TRUE ME!

Anonymous said, “With the touch of love, everyone will become poet.”

But, I became a poetess out of  Solitude which is my favorite.

But, deep inside my heart.. I feel incomplete

No one knows the unseen pain contained by me.

 “JOJO” knows about my LONG cries

Pink pillow was drenched million times with the rain from my eyes.

I don’t like when people show pity or console when I’m sad.

Rather, I would prefer them to crack a joke and make me glad.

I look for a smiling child because that brings out the innocence in me

A true happy girl in ME.

Still, I feel incomplete.

Yeah, Few things look beautiful when they are incomplete and so me! :)

This smile can hide 1,00,00,000 tears!

- Holidays -

“Yay!! Holidays start!” yells a student who came out of his examination hall. It doesn’t matter to him how he wrote his exams, but the holidays after exams gives all the energy to be happy and to enjoy. And so me! ;) I love holidays after exams!!

It seems like after we sow a land with seed, we get a rich harvest !! LOL :P

I remember those holidays after my 6^th grade. My dad took me to all beautiful places in Hyderabad. I loved Salarjung Museum, which was filled with ancient treasure. There was ‘Snow World’, which almost resembles Kashmir! ‘The Golconda Fort’, Whoa! It has many steps to climb and I completed 3 full bottles of water while reaching the top most point of the Fort! I still wonder, how could they built those building without any technology! And then, Birla Museum, my favorite spot! There, they told about the facts of universe, birth of dinosaurs and human beings. Those holidays were very useful!!

Children, in the main go to their villages in holidays or go to classes based on their interests like .. for learning music, dance, swimming etc. My point is that, students should use their holidays for their improvement in few fields and also enjoy at the same time. This makes their holidays useful… :)

So, here comes my catalog which I prepared for making my holidays handy:-

> Going to swimming classes.. [ Just to lose my weight :P ]

> Learning keyboard.. [that was my dream]

> Reading novels.. [I don’t like telugu soaps :P]

> Doing photography [In my village or when I visit other places]

> Preparing for IIT [My goal!]

> Painting, drawing, blogging, chatting… in short I muse on my hobbies when I get time.

> Learning Cooking…[Yeah, this time even if my mother scolds ;)]

There ends my catalog! ;) Hope, my holidays will be of use!

So, how many of you [Students] are going to make your holidays useful?

Join ur hands with me if you are one among them :P

- Childhood days -

Childhood is the 1^st stage in our life’s cycle. We start growing from that very point. That’s the stage where we are true humans with innocent looks and real smiles on our face. Having no knowledge about the real world. But, we learn a lot from that very stage of our life. Those are the days when we are really happy! When we don’t have any grudges or greed in our heart! When we are smiling without any reason! When we don’t have or at least don’t know about the responsibilities. We just learned to enjoy those days.. :)

So, here is a piece from my childhood days which I would like to share them with you!

To my knowledge, I was joined in that school in 2^nd class. I still remember those very first days. That was my first year in life to see such a huge building with many children dressed in white and navy blue uniform. They were talking in English. And later, I came to know that if a student doesn’t talk in English, the teachers will punish them severely! I was so scared at that. But however I learned the language very soon! And the teachers who teach there, are actually from kerala, and they only speak English or Malayalam. I loved to hear their language rather than English. I got used to that atmosphere within no time. I used to speak telugu out side the school campus, but when my foot enters the school gate, I instantly change my language without my senses. I wondered many times that how I could do that!

We had a lady class teacher. She taught science to us. One day, she told me to mug-up by giving one Para and said later she will ask some questions from that Para. So, as to gain impression on me, I started to read and actually mugged up everything from that Para. After few minutes she turned to me and started asking questions. I could not answer any question!!(giving a confused look to her) Because, the questions were not from that Para! As a part of the punishment, she pinched on my left hand leaving a scar of her long nails which were painted with purple Asian paints :X

I was totally angry on her! So, I decided to take revenge on her. In lunch break, my mother came to school for feeding me. I told all the story which happened(adding some spice :P). She was angry and complained that to headmaster. He took action and scolded that lady. To my wonder, she started crying while headmaster was scolding her. I was like saying sorry for making her to cry. From that day, she started talking with me softly and loved me always! Nice of her :). But I could not remember her name because that was a keralite name. Sorry for my short memory :(

I studied in that school till my 6^th class. I loved and enjoyed all those days. I remember my class mates. Sorry, I must say, I would remind about them every now and then. I actually love to cherish all those happy moments in my life. Ayesha, divya, manasa, keerthi, Rahul, Manish, Uday, Madhushudhan, Madiha, Nabeela, Rohini… I remember you guys!! I love you all for leaving foot prints in my life which make me happy reminding about them.

Coming to few important people, whom I seldom think of.

Ayesha – Most cheerful and happy girl I ever saw. We use to have a tight competition during exams time. Whether she or me would come first or second in the class. She is my best friend still :) Few months ago, I contacted her, she stays in a hostel now. I know that she will give a tough competition even there. Thanks to her for making my short life filled with beautiful smiles.

Rahul – The biggest prankster during my school days. We use to fight a lot and a lot!! We enjoy fighting rather than hating it :P We use to fight with whatever we get handy at that very moment. I remembered this fighting with water bottles, text books, scales :P. But, the interesting thing is we use to share lunch with each other and praise the tasty curries done by our mother’s(as if it is done by ourselves :P). I use to feel sad whenever a teacher scolds him. But he…!!! He use to mock at me when a teacher shouts at me. But still… I like him :P. Can say that I had a childhood crush on him. But, now I don’t know where he is? What he is doing now? I always have questions with me about him… that Does he remember me? Will he be thinking of me? Did he remember all those good days in childhood life? Did he forget me?... so on! Hope he catches me if I would ever be giving an interview on a popular channel :P.

I also remember my teachers. Sunnish sir was my English teacher. I had a crush on his smile. He use to have a good impression on me as my writing looks good or way better than other pupils in my class ;) He was my class teacher in 5^th class. Hmm… did he keep me in mind? Yeah, the questions are again the same…!!

Those where my childhood days! I treasured many of them. I always love to ring a bell about those days. It makes my heart feel refresh and happy! Thanks to all my friends and teachers for making those days beautiful in my life. Thanks to God for giving me a past which was beautiful!

Childhood is the most beautiful of all Life's seasons.

-- Am I living?? --

Today, I got busy browsing on internet. I was reading few short stories and poems on one of my friend’s blog. Just peeping into their world makes my brain shift from a hectic schedule of studies. Actually, I have math’s exam tomorrow. Remembering this, I started looking for model papers on few educational sites. Then, the calling bell has rung. It was my father; He has diff. style in ringing the bell. Even I follow the same! That ring makes me conscious, and I close all other windows on desktop except that educational sites. I pretend as if am seriously searching for information. He doesn’t like me to see browse on net for long time. So, I stopped pretending before him and shut down the PC. I was walking into my room and my mom gave a glance at me which says “Go, study now!” and even I have thrown a glancing reply at her which says “Yeah mom yeah! I’m going.”

I usually close my room door whenever I feel like studying. But now, I closed the door for writing something other than studies. When am walking into my room, I asked myself “Am I actually living?? What do I mean by ACTUAL??” Then, I started having few random thoughts.

Since 3 days I’m at home. What did I do? I was studying for exams, trying many ways to get traffic to my blog, watching news on current issues, commenting on TV anchors, listening music, eating my favorite food, dreaming a lot, writing poetry, chatting with friends, observing the surrounding and finally sleeping!

Shall I call this as actual living? If it is, why do I get a question on Living? It is definitely something more than this… What is it?

Is it helping poor in my leisure time? Is that knowing more information from books? Is it spending time for achieving goals? Being happy every time is called living? Taking few hours for other and helping them in their work? What is it, actual living??

Why did I get this question into my brain? Because, I don’t have any work? Or I don’t have any interest in tomorrow’s math’s exam? NO! It is because I want to know something about LIFE! Let me check my knowledge again!

According to me Human being has 3 stages of life. As a child, as a teenager and as an adult.

For a child, what is actual life? Most of the children don’t like to go school and study the uninteresting topics there. They love to play and get pleasure from playing all the day. Is that life to them? They get scolding from parents because of playing or watching Television. Then, they scold their parents in return or innocent kids start crying themselves. But few other children question themselves why parents are scolding me? They start searching for an answer. They may get an answer or may not! But their thinking is different from others. Shall I call it as LIFE? Being different from others. Being thinking various things without hurting themselves by crying or hurting others by their words. Hmm…

For me, when I was a child, I loved learning things by myself! My teachers taught me what they should and I started exploring from that point. My parents guided in their own way and I started learning in my own way!! So, that was my life when am a child.

As a teenager. Whom do u call teens? They are those people who are stuck between thirteen and nineteen. See the word ‘teen’ while pronouncing. Adults actually fear about them. They have a notion that we people wantedly go and select the wrong path. But why do we actually do it? Why do we ruin ourselves? Hmm… I admit that few teenagers do that because of lack of knowledge about the things which they are doing!! It’s not the mistake of people who tried to teach them about life. It’s not the mistake of parents or teachers! Then, what made them to go on wrong paths?? (I actually dunno the answer as I didn’t chose that path. But, I saw people going on that path) So, I can say that, they get pleasure in what they are doing. They constantly think that “I’m enjoying my life!”, “My life! My rules!” etc,. few other quotes which they actually call it as Attitude. I wonder, what they know about their LIFE!?!

And now, for me as I’m a teenager of age 16, I have faced many strange things in my life. I created problems by myself and solved them again!(To know about how extent I could solve a real life problem!!). I betrayed people for my own cause. I re-gained the trust in all the ways I could! And sometimes I failed to do so! I observe many things in my life! My fellow teens say “You actually act beyond your age, buddy!”. I smiled at them. That was my reply :D. I have a habit of knowing about others life’s and then I started using social networking sites! And I’m successful in learning many different things by connecting to this world!! Is this LIFE to me? Huumm… I’m still searching!

Now, coming to adults! The most important stage of LIFE according to me! They think that they have LIMITS in everything they do! Why follow limits when you are going to do something good? They first think about their family and then about themselves and then comes the topic of “Society”! Yeah, I agree that they have a lot to balance in their lives. But do they take pause from all these things? At least for one day? What really LIFE meant for them? I could actually figure out that, they lived their half LIFE!! Did they form any definition for life? Let me know…

Hm… I’m still searching about what life is… Few say that LIFE is about enjoying little things which they come across everyday! LIFE, itself got many definitions! It is different for different people because they see it in their own views!

Here ends my topic! Sorry, for making you to listen my brain’s random thoughts on LIFE. But, its my time to share something which I felt! I actually opened my Maths text book and solving problems. Thanks a ton for reading. Before leaving this site, ask yourself what LIFE is??

And give a comment in your own way…

Let me learn from you… :)

~Madhumathi~

- I'm a Princess -

I am a Princess…

To my tears which wet my eyes often

To my slumber land and my dreams

To my laughs which make me forget about the worries

To my parents who consider me as their beautiful doll…

I am a Princess…

In a fairytale, who faces hurdles to be success and happy.

In my own life which is so adventurous at times.

In a dreamland, where I order and people follow!

In my room, where I made rules for others…

I am a Princess…

For solitude, who treats me as a best friend.

For those people who care and love me!

For the only person who shares his life with me!

For the creator of this WORLD… who treats me as a piece of his beautiful creation!

Yes… am still a Princess, and just a Lonely Princess…

~ Madhumathi ~

- Mugging up -

‘Mugging up’ is a term used to describe a person memorizing everything without knowing the meaning of what he’s reading. But unfortunately, the meaning of the term has been [like numerous other words] over- extended to indicate the act of any sincere, hard-working guy sitting and trying to learn for the next day’s big exam.

Its high-time for Exams! Students force themselves to study for better ranks. All the day long, they mug-up the dry matter from the text books. Why should we mug-up? Why can’t we just remember them at the first glance? Did Einstein Mug-up? If no, then how did he become genius? Who taught him all those things? Why studies are so hard to us?

Yes, there are endless questions buzzing in the minds of children. Now-a-days, students are given IIT coaching, medical coaching at their very small age. Guess what? They started giving courses right from the class 6!! I really wonder, what would they do with the equations like E = mc² and x+iy=z, which are proved to be COMPLICATED themselves. Why teachers still concentrate on teaching theory? There is theory like an ocean for every subject. Why don’t they make films on particular important chapters, as they make Spiderman and Harry potter??

Are you really aware of this?? Our brain understands the language of pictures… So, why students are forced to mug-up after knowing the fact?? My question is simple… If what you are going to learn is not going to stay in your head, then what’s the use of learning?

I pity the educational system which is now running in few countries.

Yes, I know.. they are taking steps on this matter. But still, I could find a very less schools and colleges adopted it. Because of the fear of money and few other problems..

When I grow up, I hope this system changes. Every child must be introduced to practicality. They must be opened to their CREATIVE SIDE ! They should choose their career by themselves without having any confusion. In fact, “Today’s children are Tomorrow’s citizens.” ;)

Let’s hope for a better change in a student’s life!!

Good Luck for your Exams! :)

I lost it...

I was never careless about the things which I love the most. I preserve them.. They cherish me with all the wonderful moments which I spent with them. But… Today I lost it!! I was so careless :’( . At 11:15 am.. it left me! Just after the maths exam. I love my “LOST THING” as much as Maths!

I searched it in college, class, my room, my college bag and everything which caught my eye sight! But I could not find it! I spent hours with it everyday. Till today, It is almost a whole of 365 days from which I treasured loadZz of sweet moments. . .

Sob.. Sob.. Sob.. :’(

It is not connected with me.. but my heart! Yes, now “I MISS MY MOBILE” badly, truly, terribly!!

My heart is crying and shouting “ I WANT IT BACK!!!”. My darling is now In some other’s hand! I hesitated to say that I LOST IT to my parents. But one of my close friends said “So, you want to hide this from those people, who purchased it for you?” Yeah! My brain is cheating me once again. It is instructing me to tell lies to get protected from my loved ones. I listened to my heart, It said “Yes, your friend is right.” And then, I shared it with my mom. She was totally annoyed and dumbstruck on how careless I was. I explained and she understood slowly. Thank-You Mom! Muahh!!

But now.. I’m STILL MISSING IT. The feeling is terrible!!

My hands are feeling empty! Then, one of my friend commented, “Then go, hold your book .. Its enough to make your hands fill.” Oh.. What a comment! I felt sad again..

Hmm.. I used to not study when it is with me. One day, I prayed to God “Force me to STUDY more…” . He is in action now!! He did his job. He is there to support my studies again and again. Thanx to GOD. Love him!

It hurts.. but I must learn again “LOVE IS ENOUGH!”. This is apt for everything. Let it be an object, a human or an animal!!

Last words to it : I miss you dear.. Thanx fo helping me to connect to this world! :)

P.S: It accompanied me every time when I felt Lonely!

~ A random day ~

On a random morning, I was struggling to get up from bed as it is cozy and warmth which indirectly says “If u feel comfortable, sleep more!”. But one of my ear hears, ‘Get up! U want to sleep for whole 24 hrs? Its too late now! Go … Brush now.!, a voice from mother. Better I call it as shouting. Yeah, then I get up and brush.

Guess what I would be thinking while brushing?... “Another day of my life to make my teeth whiten.. using this chemicals filled toothpaste. I wonder what will happen new today!” and then I smile and have my bath. “Now eat and go!” Mom shouts while I sit in front of the mirror waiting for her to comb my hair. “Oh! So, you wanted me to get up from the bed so early to make me go out of house?”, I wanted to say but I didn’t.

In the bus stop, rather a crowded place in the morning.. I see many new faces everyday like more than 20 or 30.. and others are the same old faces. Few watch me.. but of course don’t talk with me. I wonder what they would be thinking while watching me everyday in the same place? He he.. Strange to think about a stranger. And Yeah, I think about ‘em a lot! Many random things.. though!

Pleasant air in the morning makes me smile, and I board same bus everyday. I see the same people boarding the bus! Now my brain asks, “Do they remember me when I grow big and show up on a TV channel giving an interview?”. Oh that may be silly! Lolz..

With all that random thoughts, when I reach to college.. I find a group of students discussing many topics which are under the sky except studies! :P “Hmm…” I take a sigh and go to my reserved bench which I call “ BBB – Best Back Bench”. I write not only on books but also on my bench. Hehe.. Sometimes it acts as my scrapbook! I find few of  my lecturers are quite good or I can call better in dumping the knowledge to our small system called BRAIN! Oh, let me tell they feel relaxed  when they fill our brains with all that dry matter.. I feel “Why do we need to study like OIL FLOATS ON WATER, PLANT A TREE AND WE GET OXYGEN, GEOMETRY, this and that.. to make a better life? Oh, whatever let’s study now!”. Look, I’m studying now!..

Thank-God I made few friends to make my brain relax! They make me laugh and smile with few good and silly jokes! Each n every class has at least one funniest character! I got many of them in our class :D Ha ha!!

And at 7:00 pm I’m back to my house! My mom feeds me everyday night thinking that I would be tired by reaching home then. Yeah of course, I am.. Don’t you think?

You know what? I will be reading newspaper while the day will end in 5 hours! So funny to me!

Now, I will be switching on to my books to get rank or good marks to make myself stop thinking about non-sense. Books are useful for that. And I end my day at 12’O clock dreaming about my future! Thanks to God.. for giving me Past,Present and Future!!..

~ Madhumathi ~

-I Miss You-

- I still Love you -

~ I still love Youu.. ~

- Comic Character -

~ My all time fav. Comic Character -- Suppandi in TINKLE ~

- End -

~ End ~

- Silhouette -

A view from my balcony.. at 7:00 pm approx. :)

- Sky -

Plain Sky.. during Sunset* on the other side :)

- Smileys -

Actually these balls are used on National Festivals like Republic Day,Independence Day.. In India.. :)

- Balls -

- Red Flower -

Actually donno wotz d name of dis flower.. :D Got it from my grandma's Lil' garden ;)

- Sun set -

A view from my balcony..

- Black Stones -

These stones are situated near my school.. in a colony called NFC Nagar! ;)

- Tree -

Tree!.. Wow.. I love trees! ;)

- Beans -

It's actual name is .. Indian Broad Beans! ;)
I love this curry.. when it is made by my MOM ;)

- Leaf -

Brown Leaf! ;) Guess from which tree it had fallen?
.
.
.
.

It's Badam tree! Indian Almond!

- Spider web -

Flowers made this spider web luk more beautiful.. nd intresting.. :D!!~

- Flower -

A yellow flower! Clicked it in my grandma's house! 
Its pleasant.. :)

- Dancing girl -

Done with sketch !!~

- My Room -

My room.. :D hehe!

- Happy Girl -

Saw this girl in a advertisement of children products..

Happy Girl :)

- Princess -

My first try of a Side-faced portrait..

:)

My Doll - JOJO

Tried 3-D pic.. it turned 2-D.. :D
Its my doll.. JOJO.. my best frend!

- Lonely Princess -

Madhumathi - l0n3ly Princ3Ss. .
I <3 to be a l0n3ly Princ3Ss.. :)

- A girl -

After sOo.. many days.. I started to draw ! I love to xpress my feelings in drawings! One of my fav. hobby. . :) and m a die-hard fan of PENCIL DRAWING.. <3


And coming to this drawing.. I always.. feel god made a beautiful art creating Girls.. :)
This pic dedicated to all GIRLS.. in this universe ;)