Sunday Scribblings - Page 5 of 365

Well, well, well…

Its been a long.. I mean very LONG time since I wrote anything on my blog!!

Ah, it feels almost alone and empty! I’m sorry for my readers too. I know that I lost some of the regular readers.. But, I hope I could make it upto them in this post.

I wish you a happy new year, belated ofcourse. To be frank, I wasn’t enthusiastic to welcome this new year.. It doesn’t yet seem like a new year to me. The reason I am not writing much now a days is I don’t feel like writing anything or sharing anything. I was losing the intrest to share something from my personal life. And yeah, nothing was going well in past few months. But, it is getting better and better since few weeks. So, my present status is “I’m trying to be my old self again, which means to be happy”.

I didn’t make any particular resolutions this year and I’m happy to say that I did most of the things I ought to do in 2013. I got good grades in my academics which made my parents damn happy. And, they increased my pocket money as a reward. I’m happy for that! I lost weight!!! That’s a god damn good news to me every time I lose one kilo. Now, I weigh 56 kilos(I used to weigh 62 kilos). I should lose 6 more kilos and maintain it. I also lost 1 inch from my belly! Well, it doesn’t sound much of a thing to lose, but it makes a difference. Atleast, for girls. Many told that I look pretty now. Few said that they loved the chubby chubby personality of mine. For me, I should say that I look happy for losing some weight. In last year, I started studying too much now a days. Not for grades, but for my curiosity. I enrolled for some classes in Mathematics and Physics in coursera.org and edx.org. I recommend to everyone to learn something new from these websites. Its not about only science, but everything. Let it be about Art or music or architecture…They contain courses which are free for students to learn from International Universities. I am proud to say that I completed my Pre-Calculus and Calculus One courses and earned online certificates from University of Irvine and Ohio State University respectively. In 2013, I lost few of my friends due to some reasons but I’m happy to say that I’m doing good without them ‘cause I feel that I need not fight for people who doesn’t want me in their life. I felt stupid when I realized that fact. I felt like I wasted too much of time on them to make our relationship continue. But, everything was in vain. It was for nothing. I also met few great friends who taught me about the value of having a good relationship with people. I learnt a lot about relationships last year. I started spending time with my parents, specially with my mom. We have been to many places last year, spent money on shopping. We had fun eating in hotels and restaurants. I found a friend in my mom after all these years. When I was a kid, I read an article in newspaper and remember a quote from that which says ‘Parents can be friends with their children. But, first they should act like parents before trying to be a friend’. I felt like ‘Damn, someone read my mind!!’. My parents used to take extra care of me when I didn’t need that at all. But, now they don’t and they understood that very well. They give space for me to think and act on my own terms. They respect my decisions. I’m happy for things going well between me and my parents.

Hmm! So, these are few things from my 2013! Its been great and I learnt a lot without any doubt! I’m happy to write down all these in my blog. As a matter of fact, I miss writing about me. I miss penning down my thoughts and call them as poems. Haha. I miss it! I miss the comments from my readers.

So, one resolution which I want to make now is to keep writing and expressing my feelings on my blog more often. I hope you had a great year too, my lovely reader. I wish all happiness and luck in your new ventures!

Unsent letter to 'My Parents': Day 3

Dear Mom & Dad,

                                    I have many things unsaid to both of you people. I’m sorry for that. I really didn’t share anything completely with you… That’s cuz I just feel you are fraught with your work and .. my problems will only make you more fraught. I know you tell that ‘we wont feel burden’ if I share my problems, that’s coz of your kindness. I understand you. I never gave a chance to show your true love on me. I ignore those situations. Don’t ask me ‘why’. I really don’t have a good answer. May be, I don’t want to go sentimental with your love.. or may be, I hate ‘too much of love’. You know, I’m a reserved-type girl, even with you(sometimes). But, here in this letter I’m sharing with you… all that I can.

                                    Mom, do you remember the day you restricted me from playing ‘Holi’? I felt very sad about that. All… ‘my aged’ children were enjoying that day. But, you locked me in a room saying that those colors are harmful to play holi. I formed hatred towards you coz of that. That enjoyment really mattered me when I’m 7 years old!(even if it caused harm to my skin due to those colors). I yelled inside my heart infinite times --> “I hate you MOM!”.. You still don’t understand that I love only ‘small things’ which make me happy for ‘long time’. I have many incidents in my life which you made me miss them without enjoying! But, that’s ok… you have your own reasons to protect your daughter from the affects caused by them. I still feel your love which is hidden behind those restrictions. Thanks for being my side and reminding me that ‘I’m never lonely’. Love you mom(*Tears*)for everything you did to me. For the tastiest dishes which you prepare for my lunch early in the morning 5am. I’m damn sure that one day I’ll make you proud of me :). I feel that you never know my ‘Love’ towards ‘you’ … but you know what, I’m not able to show my ‘TRUE LOVE’ towards you… Donno what stops me from showing!? But, I’m doing it in many indirect ways, I’m studying hard, behaving well, keeping away bad-friendship, I have my own future plans to make you happier than now :). I promise you!(I said this one to you many times, and I see your happiness in your tears… I feel it! Love you again). I also remember the days you support me when my marks go down and when dad scolds me. I love you. You were an example to me for patience,love,sacrifice,caring,humble,helping,hard-work,optimistic and daring. Thanks for teaching me lessons through your experiences. I love you more than myself(Truly, I never said this to anyone!). Hope, I’ll reach your expectations in my future. Thanks for loving and taking care of me from 16 years! I owe that I’ll make you happy :)

P.S:- Thanks for the ice-creams you are buying for me everyday now-a-days, that made me happy… That’s a real sweet thing you are doing to me :).

                                   

                                    Now, Dad, You know what? I really miss you these days… *Tears* I’m missing you jokes, your smile, your care! *Tears again(continued for 3 mins)*. Love you soo… much! I know that I never respected you by being annoyed at some silly things. I cannot end that guilty feeling by just saying a ‘Sorry’ to you! But I must, I’M SORRY DAD!!!!!

                                    I think, I never ever talked to you more than 2 hours! Why does the hell it happens only for us? Is that I’m a grown-up girl now and don’t want to share everything to you? I really feel jealous when my friends are close to there father’s. Why does that not happen to us, the closeness? Why I can’t show my love towards you? Why I understand your love even if you fail to show me openly? The LOVE-BOND between us is invisible to everyone on this earth… and only YOU AND ME knows about how strong it is! I cry for you dad… for not respecting you… for not showing you all-love! I didn’t learn a way to show them correctly!(sad). But, I do respect you by studying hard, by doing math, by being a good girl in my school days. Do you remember how principal sir and English madam talks good about me? At least they said! Thanks to them. I’m sorry for being real rude to you in my 8^th class, as I was undergoing a phase of teen-‘age’ in which I ruined myself. But, I was back to my normal life after knowing it was not good to do so. Thanks for understanding me. I love you dad! Sorry for pasting “I HATE YOU DAD” poster in my room. I know, you saw that and felt sad about it. I, many times yelled ‘I hate you’ to you! I know, how it made you depress. But, I still love you with all my heart. I’m so dumb in showing love to you both people.

                                    And… dad, why do you spy on me sometimes? I’m not going to ruin myself again! Because I know what I’m up-to now. I know my limits. I know how to use my freedom. I know what is good and not so good things. After all, I’m your daughter. I promise you that I’ll be a good daughter forever :).

                                    You are always ‘My hero’ :). You are ‘my book to teach philosophy through experience’. Love you Forever.

                                    Finally, I conclude here. I owe many things to you. Hope, you read this letter one day, as I’m writing this in my diary. Love you both, muaah!

*Wiping away my tears*

~Vidya

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge

^_^ Mother^_^

"Pedhave Palikina Maatllone .. Thiyyani maate.. Amma" :)

I love dis quote ! And I love my Mother :)

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Premanu panche nee matalUu ..
Nannu nakante ekkuvga preminche nee manasUu.. naku ThelsUu..

Nakosam nuvvu chesina thyagalUu..
Nee prema ki nirvachanam..
Avi nee prema ki sakshulUu..

Nuvvu premaga thitte matalUu..
Na vijayalaku tholi metlUu..

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Nuvvu choopinche premakUu.. "Thanx" ani cheppi saripettukoleka pothunna..
alage.. neekosam emi cheyyalekapothunna ane baadha nannu vedhisthundhi..
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Neekai .. Nenai .. Thodai Needai ..
!!Untanu Prathikshanam!!

Nee orpuki Nee sahananiki joharlUu .. !!
Enni janmalethina.. naku nuvve Amma ga puttalani korukuntunnanUu..

EllappudUu.. na santhosham kore neekUu..
Nenu bandhini aipoyanUu..


Nuvvu kuripinche prema varshaniki ..
Nenu mugdhuralini aipoyanUu..
U're my God's Gift .. amma :)


~~~ I love You Forever and Ever ~~~

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