Sunday Scribblings - Page 5 of 365

Well, well, well…

Its been a long.. I mean very LONG time since I wrote anything on my blog!!

Ah, it feels almost alone and empty! I’m sorry for my readers too. I know that I lost some of the regular readers.. But, I hope I could make it upto them in this post.

I wish you a happy new year, belated ofcourse. To be frank, I wasn’t enthusiastic to welcome this new year.. It doesn’t yet seem like a new year to me. The reason I am not writing much now a days is I don’t feel like writing anything or sharing anything. I was losing the intrest to share something from my personal life. And yeah, nothing was going well in past few months. But, it is getting better and better since few weeks. So, my present status is “I’m trying to be my old self again, which means to be happy”.

I didn’t make any particular resolutions this year and I’m happy to say that I did most of the things I ought to do in 2013. I got good grades in my academics which made my parents damn happy. And, they increased my pocket money as a reward. I’m happy for that! I lost weight!!! That’s a god damn good news to me every time I lose one kilo. Now, I weigh 56 kilos(I used to weigh 62 kilos). I should lose 6 more kilos and maintain it. I also lost 1 inch from my belly! Well, it doesn’t sound much of a thing to lose, but it makes a difference. Atleast, for girls. Many told that I look pretty now. Few said that they loved the chubby chubby personality of mine. For me, I should say that I look happy for losing some weight. In last year, I started studying too much now a days. Not for grades, but for my curiosity. I enrolled for some classes in Mathematics and Physics in coursera.org and edx.org. I recommend to everyone to learn something new from these websites. Its not about only science, but everything. Let it be about Art or music or architecture…They contain courses which are free for students to learn from International Universities. I am proud to say that I completed my Pre-Calculus and Calculus One courses and earned online certificates from University of Irvine and Ohio State University respectively. In 2013, I lost few of my friends due to some reasons but I’m happy to say that I’m doing good without them ‘cause I feel that I need not fight for people who doesn’t want me in their life. I felt stupid when I realized that fact. I felt like I wasted too much of time on them to make our relationship continue. But, everything was in vain. It was for nothing. I also met few great friends who taught me about the value of having a good relationship with people. I learnt a lot about relationships last year. I started spending time with my parents, specially with my mom. We have been to many places last year, spent money on shopping. We had fun eating in hotels and restaurants. I found a friend in my mom after all these years. When I was a kid, I read an article in newspaper and remember a quote from that which says ‘Parents can be friends with their children. But, first they should act like parents before trying to be a friend’. I felt like ‘Damn, someone read my mind!!’. My parents used to take extra care of me when I didn’t need that at all. But, now they don’t and they understood that very well. They give space for me to think and act on my own terms. They respect my decisions. I’m happy for things going well between me and my parents.

Hmm! So, these are few things from my 2013! Its been great and I learnt a lot without any doubt! I’m happy to write down all these in my blog. As a matter of fact, I miss writing about me. I miss penning down my thoughts and call them as poems. Haha. I miss it! I miss the comments from my readers.

So, one resolution which I want to make now is to keep writing and expressing my feelings on my blog more often. I hope you had a great year too, my lovely reader. I wish all happiness and luck in your new ventures!

Silence Prevails

Blowing wind,

Rustling leaves,

Chirping birds,

Rhythmic heart beats;

can be heard,

'cause silence prevailed.

Heavy breaths,

Jingling anklets,

Sound of papers,

Hum of a song;

can be heard,

'cause silence prevailed.

But, what about the things which cannot be heard?

The buried love?

The suppressed longing to see you?

The Urge..

Urge to cry aloud, letting out the pain.

Urge to talk with loved ones, feeling lovable.

Urge to play with kids, experiencing the innocence.

Urge to wander, exploring the world.

Urge to dance, showing the rhythm of my heart.

Urge to write, painting the feelings through words.

The reminders of my unforgotten love.

Roses,

Remind me the fragrance of your love.

Rain drops,

Amuse me the way as your touch does.

Sun rays,

Endow me the warmth of your hug.

Birds,

Their chirpings strike a chord of our lovely evening chats.

Wet feet in the beach,

Leave the impressions same as your kiss on my lips.

Trees,

Grant me the shade of your love.

The howling winds,

Are the cues of our silly fights.

A summer afternoon,

Symbolize the longing to meet you.

The horizon,

Prompts the illusion of our meeting.

..Again..

Fell into darkness

..again..

Will this pain of love ever end?

Feeling void

..again..

Don’t I deserve to be loved?

Disregarded by my own people

..again..

Are there no limits for betrayal?

Promises are broken

..again..

Will I ever hear a truth in my life?

Sleeping Beauty..

Pencil drawing .. after many days!

I thought I could draw a pic of how a boy looks at a girl's face..when she is asleep! :)

xx And, I kinda love that feeling xx

-Flooded Thoughts-

Lost in thoughts

When I start my day,

I think of you...

'Cause, your thought;

makes me smile!

When am alone,

I think of you...

'Cause, you were the person;

who erased my loneliness, in the past.

When I smile,

I think of you...

'Cause, few years back;

You were the only reason for my smile!

When I cry,

I think of you...

'Cause, no one else is;

worth of my tears.

When I pray,

I think of you...

'Cause of the few memorable moments;

when am happy being with you.

When I sing or listen to a love song,

I think of you...

'Cause,every word in those lyrics;

reminds you!

When I listen to a fairy-tale,

I think of you...

'Cause, I imagine you and me;

in the place of Prince and Princess <3

When I end my day,

I think of you...

'Cause, your thought;

makes me smile all the way!

I'm flooded with your thoughts,

I feel both;

happy and sad!

~Waiting for you~

P.S: I wish, you read this!

- Lost Love -

I sit alone,

Thinking about you..

Not about the present.

Its about past, the person you were.

Who told me, “I will never make you feel alone”

Ironically, I’m sitting alone, thinking about you.

About the person... I love the most!

It’s wrong to expect,

About the things which you don’t deserve.

May be, ‘Love’ is not meant for a girl like ‘Me’.

I expected, you would keep that promise..

Simultaneously, I was afraid that you will leave me alone one day.

Now,

I just hope. I just wish.

I know… I won’t be alive forever.

But, dear.. My love for you is never dead!

My life would be beautiful..if you are in that.

I would be much happier, if am alive in your thoughts.

Am I alive?

I love you! Now and Forever <3

P.S: I hope, you would come back to me..And shower the same love.

Yes, I will be the happiest girl ever <3

P.P.S: I’m missing you like hell! <3-- I mean it!

- Being with you! -

I like the smiles between us,

I feel complete, when am with you.

I enjoy.. even a little gaze,

On random things, when am with you.

I love those bike rides at nights,

Feels like on cloud nine, when am with you.

Those childish fights,

Are just sweet memoirs, I just love being with you.

I’m totally addicted,

To you, I wish to be with you,

Forever, and just for ‘ever’ without being betrayed.

Dear, I’m just crazy about you!

A love song reminds ..

About you, I feel like being with you ..

The next minute. Every single word between us binds

Our relationship…stronger! I love you!

Unsent letter: Day 11

Grandpaaa….

                                    I miss you a lot!!! :). Remember those days when you and me went for evening walks in our village? The riddles you asked me were simple but I could not answer many of them… yet I enjoyed them. The stories told by you to make me fall asleep are still ringing in my ears. Do you remember, the days we both were gardening and I was often splashing the water from the pipe at our pet dog? I always feel the intense love of yours towards me. I really really miss you a lot grand pa :(.

                                    I’m sorry that I could not come to see you when you called me on the last day of your life on this earth. I missed the last hours with you. But, I’m so happy that you remembered me even at last minute of your life (grandma told). I’m so so very sorry to you. I almost cried all the day after seeing you lying without any senses. I still feel the love on me from you. Hope you know that I love you so much and I miss another person who loved me from the day I landed on this earth. I just want to hold your hand once again. I just want to listen to your stories and riddles. I want you beside me appreciating my hand writing. I want someone who gifted me ‘badam’ for returning back to village. :(

                                    I still have your photos in my PC. I sometimes silently, view them and cry aloud deep inside my heart for not seeing you alive on the last hours. You are so precious to me grandpa, more than your daughter.

                                    I still remember those words from you saying to grandma about me, “Yeah, I’ll be alive to see vidya’s marriage. I want to see those precious moments of my princess and then leave this earth happily.” I never understood the real meaning of those lines in my childhood. But, now, I understood your love. You care…and the bond between us. I love you and I miss you like hell!!!

                                    I wanted to share this to mother, but, if she even cries with me? No, I promise you grandpa, I will never make your daughter cry. I will rather make her happy by studying and getting good marks.

                                    Hope, god permits you to read this letter. Love you again.

[All tears while writing this letter]

Note: This letter is about the person ' A Deceased person you wish you could talk to'

~Vidya

P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge 

Unsent letter to 'My Love': Day 7

Dear ‘Love’,

                                    Many things to say with you. Sometimes, words fail to express ‘my love’. Hope you know my ‘hidden love’ towards you, just an expectation, cuz after all you are my soul-mate. I just feel like sharing everything… but the next moment, you disappear like ‘mist’. That’s OK. I can wait until you return to me again. I promise, that I’ll treat you as my only ‘Prince’ in this world… But, sorry.. if I sometimes fail, cuz, I’m not a perfectionist… I’m waiting for you to ‘come back’ with all my heart!

                                    You know, this is my 2^nd love letter which am writing to you. In my 1^st letter, you only find 3 words written billion times in a page and those 3 words are “I love you”… I don’t need you to be handsome than other men, I need you to be ‘JUST YOU’. I love you even more when you talk about philosophical things. Love your eyes when you look at me while talking, which is filled with intense love and care. I feel safe in your *hug*. When you kiss, I can feel your love transferred to me. I love your smile and the curves under your eyes while smiling at me. I love the touch, when you hold my hand during an evening walk. I love it when you hear to all my random talks. I love when you tease me. I love when you please me. I love when you treat me as ‘your princess’.

                                    See, there is a never ending list to love things when ‘am with you’. I feel special. But, sometimes I regret, for not welcoming you into my life right now. Just coz I don’t want to accept you without any maturity on ‘love’ feeling. Sorry, if I hurt you…

A poem dedicated to you:

Tears rolling down my cheeks again,

Its for him.

Every drop filled with intense love and pain.

He left me, to be more precise I left him!

I understood him.

He loved me deeply.

Yes, deeper than an ocean.

But,

I never cared much.

He left me, to be more precise I left him!

My tears for him,

Only means…

I miss another person completely,

Who cared and loved the way I’m.

He left me, to be more precise I left him!

I cried… cried… and cried…

My eyes are totally tired!

But,

My heart is still silently weeping,

Just for him.

To come back and…

Love me in the same way.

He left me, to be more precise I left him!

Once mom said, "Distance between people makes them miss more and love more." I’m just following it (I agree, too much distance between them even hurts. But, I assure you that I won’t maintain it for long time.) I love you dear.

                                   

                                    I don’t want you. I just ‘need’ you, to share, my sorrow, my joy, my random talks, my love, my madness, and ‘myself’.

                                    I know that I’m not such a beautiful girl, but am sure I’ll make you happy with my smile and loving heart. I don’t need precious gifts, I need a small chocolate/ice-cream which makes me happy (I enjoy small things in my life). I don’t need you to adore me all the day, its OK if you are annoyed with me. I can handle things well :), cuz ‘am your girl’ and you are ‘my guy’. I just love you.

                                    I wrote this poem for you: “My love – With you, For you!”

Yes, I just love you. I will express my love in all the ways I can, and so here I wrote a letter to you on my blog. Love you… and missing you.

Few Quotes for ‘My love’ which I collected:

>If every drop in the ocean is an adjective, I still wouldn’t know how to describe my feelings towards you.

>I adore you, awesomely, crazily, wonderfully, amazingly handsome and special yet weird and unique individual.

>I’m where the grass is greener, it snows where the sun is stronger, I’m right where I want to be, you are my final destination.

>I find pieces of you in every song I listen to.

>Technically, I’m single. Emotionally I’m taken because in my heart, I’ll always be hez girl even if he doesn’t know at all.

>Seeing you smile, makes me smile.

>If you start miss me, remember, I didn’t leave, you pushed me away…

>I love… when you call me ‘baby’.

>Yes, I smile like a little kid when you text me :)

>I hate you, then I love you. It’s like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.

~Vidya

P.S:- I don’t have any boyfriend/lover till now, just awaiting for him :) and this is for ‘him’ :). 

P.P.S:- This post is filed under 30-Day challenge

- Poison -

Love is often called: Sweet Poison,

for, it kills many hearts.

When it is injected by a person to a person but not accepted!

P.S:- This post is filed under Haiku heights: Prompt #42 - Poison

-I Miss You-

- I still Love you -

~ I still love Youu.. ~

My Love -- With you , For you !!

All the day long, I thought of you..

My heart says, “I love you”

When I see you, a smile appears..

And all worries in my heart disappears..

Unknowingly I fall into your thoughts of love..

My feelings are pure just as a dove..

When you hug me, I can feel the love you shower on me..

Which is deeper than a sea..

Even if there are no words to speak with you..

I enjoy the utter silence filled with love signals between me and you..

When you talk with me, I feel like listening to a love song..

When you walk with me, I feel there is a person to correct me when am wrong..

Dear, I lost me in your love..

Searching myself in the ocean called love..

Sometimes I think of you..

Sometimes I dream of you..

But, everytime “I love you”

You pass your love to me through a kiss..

I feel so proud that “I AM UR GIRL” and I bliss..

The days were toughest when I didn’t see you..

I felt soo happy.. The min’ I saw you..

Then, my heart suddenly shouts .. “I love you”.

You are the smile in my heart..

You bring music into my life..

Dear, “I love You”..

P.S. :- I still wonder the way you turned me as a love bird.. from a l0n3ly Princ3Ss..

~ Madhumathi

Na swapnam nuvve.. Na alochanalOo.. nuvve ..

Na ooha ki cheruvai.. Naaku dhooramai.. Na prema ku dheggarayyavUu..

Naalo unna nuvvu .. Neekosam jeevisthunna nenUu..

Thoduga unna mana prema..

Eppatiki marapu raanivi..

Nee roopam na kallalOo.. nikshipthamai ..

Na kanu reppaki thoduga.. undhi ..

Neepai na bhaavalUu.. cheppalekapoyina.. dhaaganivi ..

Na swapnam lo nuvve.. Na alochanalOo.. nuvve...

Neekai Nenai..

Thodai needai..

Jeevisthunna ekakinai.. :)

~Madhumathi~

!! Na oohallOo.. nuvve.. Na prathi alochanallo lOo.. nuvve !!

Ninnu choosthe.. ooratesthundhi ..

Ninnu choosthe.. oka chiru navvu chiguristhundhi ..

Na oohallOo.. nuvve ..

Na prathi alochanallOo.. nuvve .. 

Neetho unnappudu .. ninnu marachipoyina kshanam ledhUu..

Neetho lenappudu .. ninnu thalachukoni kshanam ledhUu..

--

Chachipodham anukunte .. nuvvu naalo nikshipthamayyi unnavUu..

Ninnu nenela champukuntanUu? Chachipothanani ela anukunnavUu .. ??

Brathukudham anukunte.. nuvvu naathOo.. levUu ..

Ontariga.. ee Yedari lOo.. jeevisthanani ela anukunnavUu .. ??

--

Na aasha nuvve .. Na prathi shvasa nuvve ..

~Madhumathi~